Football...Bloody Hell 2

I thought I would be happier. My football fans brain should have kicked into action last night. A football fan can be a rational and responsible member of society for much of the time. However, for 90 minutes a week a strange thing happens to them. They become tribal. If they are lucky enough to be able to afford to actually go and watch a match, they may chant songs invented by their tribe. Sometimes they steal other tribes songs and pretend they made them. Manchester Untied stole Glory, Glory Man Utd from Tottenham Hotspur and because it's been so bloody long since my beloved Spurs have won anything people believe it's a Utd song. Once the game has started, the football fan begins to believe utter nonsense. They believe that it's ok for a player on their team to dive to the ground if an opposing player gets too close but if the situation is reversed then it's a cynical act of cheating and how they howl and spit and swear at the wretch! They believe that the laws of the game only apply to the other team and have their own special laws when it comes to fouls. A crunching tackle becomes a career ending attack and vise versa. They believe the referee is a secret fan of the other team. Some even believe that it's acceptable to wear an amusing comedy hat to a game or God forbid, a wig!
I believed that last night I would sit down to watch a great game of football and was hoping for a Man Utd victory. What I saw was a boring game with Arsenal (spit!) rolling over on their backs like the submissive dogs they are...sorry about that, I promised myself I would be objective and unbiased. So Utd won, but for some reason I didn't feel all warm and glowing inside like I usually do when Arsenal (spit!) lose important matches. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that a few weeks ago my team Spurs were destroyed by a stunning 2nd half display from a fantastic Utd team. I think not, I'm used to Spurs throwing away impressive leads in games. In this instance we were 2-0 up at half time, only to lose 5-2! Still, at least we managed to score against them!
I think the problem was that the match, as a sporting competition , was effectively over after 15 minutes. It wasn't going to be the classic we all expected and hoped for, instead it turned into a damp squib, whatever that is...answers in comments if you know.