Welke Taal Spreek Je?...Origins of Dutch

We return today to our friends who invented the Dutch language. This was way before they started to get sloppy with words. As I have previously pointed out, the last object to be named was hand shoes or gloves as we call them in English. It may interest you to know that the second to last word was pindakaas or peanut cheese. In English we call it peanut butter because it spreads like butter...
"Your attention please gentlemen," said the chairman.
Everyone in the room turned their attention to the chairman.
" Yesterday, we established 2 words for there,"he paused as he looked at his notes,"er and daar,well done on that, by the way."
The men in the room all smiled and nodded at each other in a smug way and returned their attention to the chairman.
"Today we need to invent a word to describe a specific thing"
"What do you mean?"asked one of the men.
"Well, in English you would say the door or the cat and what we need is our version of the,"replied the chairman.
"Can we use 2 words again, sir?" asked one smart arse.
The chairman sucked thoughtfully on his quill.
"Well, wouldn't it be a lot less confusing to have just one?" he said.
The smart arse looked so dejected that the chairman asked him to explain what he had in mind.
"Well sir, I was thinking of calling them het and de, and you use them in specific situations...here sir, I've written it down." he handed the chairman a sheet of paper.
The chairman adjusted his spectacles and squinted down at the what was written on the paper.

DE - used for all plural nouns, nouns denoting male or female persons will be de words most of the time...but not always.

HET - used for all diminutives, for example het meisje. Words that end in isme can also be het words.
Written roughly at the bottom of the page were the words: ...erm, I thought maybe we could just use het and de for every other word not covered in the above. Sort of random. No apparent reason for doing so.

"I say, do we have a lot of words ending in isme?" asked the chairman.
"No sir," came the reply.
The chairman grimaced and looked at the smart arse.
"It all seems a bit...complicated...how about just using de for everything?"
"Oh come on sir, you let us have er and daar".
The chairman sucked vigorously on his quill again, unaware of the giggles coming from the men in the room as his mouth became black with ink.
"Very well, accepted," he said.
"Oh there's just one other little thing,"said the smart arse.
The chairman raised an enquiring eyebrow.
" How about we change words according to how they are written in a sentence?"
"I'm not sure what you mean"
"For example: de dure auto would become de auto is duur," the smart arse gave a smug smart arsey grin.
Heated conversation broke out in the room. Not because of the revolutionary idea but because no one knew what an auto was, they wouldn't be invented for many hundreds of years! Sadly, the chairman, who also hadn't a clue as to what an auto might be, thought that the people in the room were talking about what a visionary the smart arse was and so cleared his throat and said:
"Accepted!"
"There's more sir. Would you like to hear?" the smart arse said earnestly.
"No," replied the chairman who was beginning to feel a bit light headed, which was brought on in part from lead poisoning.
"It wont take me long to explain,sir. It's a bit complicated..."
"Oh really, you do surprise me."
"...but I think it will compliment my other ideas."

We leave our linguists to their own devices for now. The chairman went for a lay down in a darkened room. That's how I feel sometimes. Just when you think it can't get anymore complicated they come up with something else. My notes read thus:

de dure auto - always + e
het grote huis

plurals + e

een dure auto
een groot huis

de auto is duur

Essentially the sentence is the same. the expensive car, the big house, an expensive car, a big house and finally the car is expensive. So why mess around with changing letters in the sentence? WHY? WHY? WHY?
The letters are changed depending on whether it is accompanied by a het, de or een. Also, if it is a plural or not. So het grote huis becomes de grote huizen, or does it? I don't know...I'm confused!
I am very interested in history and I have often wondered why some empires were successful and some not. Let's face it, for a period of time, the Dutch were probably the most powerful nation on the planet with the spice routes under their control. They could have gone on to forge an empire as great as the British if only people could of understood their language!
Even today, British people use the same methods of communication with non-English speaking peoples as our fore fathers did. That is of course to speak VERY LOUDLY and very slooowly in English. It worked for Captain Cook and Dr Livingstone, I presume (admittedly Cook couldn't make himself understood when he said "please don't eat me").
In English we have an expression - double Dutch.
It comes from around the period of time of the spice trade and my big fat Collins Dictionary describes it as follows:
incomprehensible talk, gibberish.
I rest my case.