Welke Taal etc....

Doesn't time fly? One minute I'm complaining about fireworks and the next two weeks have gone by! I guess you can expect more of the same in the future. In this part of Belgium they talk with a funny accent. I think I've already said this before. I talk with a funny accent wherever I go on this side of the English Channel. My understanding of the dutch language hasn't really got any better. Why? Because people don't ever speak their language the way that foreigners learn it. Sure, it's quite easy to get the gist of what people mean when they talk about something whether you can understand the words or not. A trick I learnt for using at parties is to nod and smile, follow the talkers facial expressions. The problem usually comes when they ask you a question. I was standing in a queue this morning in Delhaize and an old chap in front of me placed a divider down between my food and his. I said thank you, because I'm polite, and I followed his facial expressions to register the correct response. Slightly mischievous smile and his statement ending on a slighty raised note indicating to me that he was making a slight joke ending in a question. I went through the appropriate responses and chose to answer in a small hearty chuckle and "Ja". Well he looked at me as if I had just kicked his dog, moved his food as far away as he could from mine and muttered something under his breath.
So, that happens sometimes. I had a man ring the doorbell last week and stood listening to him for a good 2 minutes before telling him that I didn't understand a word he was saying. So he repeated it. We both silently agreed that him telling me again wouldn't make a blind bit of difference and we parted on amicable terms. I guessed he was trying to sell me something, as were the scouts who turned up just this past saturday. The youngest, red of cheek, held up a manky bag of bread rolls and asked me something in the kind of voice that made me wonder if the older, taller scout behind him was poking him with a stick.
I guessed he was asking me if I wanted to buy his bread rolls, although why he would think that I don't know. Maybe he had found them outside on the pavement and was doing a good deed by asking me"are these bread rolls yours?I found them on the pavement". I didn't have to search far for the appropriate response this time.
At the end of the queue I was in this morning I encountered a new problem. I always talk in Dutch, or something similar to Dutch. I just need a few stock words...ja, nee, bedankt. That will usually suffice. This morning I had luncheon vouchers to use.

Me: Ik heb maaltijd cheques...ses euros.
Check out lady: Ok that will be six please.
Me: Een..
Check out lady: One..
Me: Twee...
Check out lady: Two...

I suddenly found myself losing the power of thought. She continued to speak in English and I continued to mumble in Dutchney. It was all starting to confuse me. She was speaking English and I was speaking Dutch. A part of me was telling me that it's ok to speak English now, she has found you out...but I couldn't. We had the scenario of me bidding her 'goede dag' whilst she bid me 'goodbye'...I left the store grinning and feeling slightly ridiculous for some reason.
How did she know I was English, my pronunciation was perfect...ahem...maybe she had x-ray vision and could see my Union flag underpants.