Welke Taal Spreek Je?...Special Words

It has become apparent to me that the language course I'm taking may not be the best out there. I know for a fact that I am the only pupil in the class that doesn't have to be there. The rest are all from non-EU countries and need to pass the courses to have any chance of being allowed to stay in Belgium. I've always known that my fellow students have as much trouble as I do with certain aspects of Dutch grammatica. During yesterdays lesson I had to read out an answer to an exercise which contained 6 similar questions. Basically, all of the answers should contain dat. My answer was wrong, actually the only wrong answer I had of the 6, surprisingly enough! One of the things my fellow students delight in is reading out their answers as soon as the person who was asked to read out the answer has finished, sometimes before he or she has finished. This usually results in a cacophony of noise like a cross between a chicken coop and a Turkish bazaar, which can be funny or annoying, depending on your mood. On this occassion the whole class got the answer wrong and the teacher supplied the right answer. All of the other answers followed a pattern but this particular one deviated from the pattern leaving everyone scratching their heads in consternation. I have a deep furrow on my head caused by much scratching! We are told that the reason for the deviation is because of the introduction of a 'special word'. Now we have a few special words in English...Beer, Curry, Football...but Dutch is simply crammed full of them! After the final question had been answered the teacher asked if anyone had any questions about the exercise...silence...then she asked if everyone understood the exercise...silence...
This is our pattern. It's something that has gone on throughout all of the courses I have taken. Do you understand what I've just said?
Ja, ja!
Thinking to yourself 'I haven't got a bloody clue but I don't want to appear stupid so I will say yes with everyone else!'
Not one person(myself included) said they didn't understand. The teacher knew we didn't understand and yet the lesson moved on.
The introduction of 'special words' into exercises are a pain in the arse, if the concept you are learning is difficult to grasp, as it invariably is, then 'special words' just completely confuse the entire issue. Let us get to grips with one thing before inserting another.
Despite the teachers insistance on everyone speaking Dutch during the lesson there are usually a few times that she has to explain a word in English. Which is fine by me, she can do the whole lesson in English if she wants! In recent lesson this has produced a rather annoying side effect. A woman who sits in the row behind me has started informing me everytime an English word is used.
"Mike..Mike..Engles!"
Everytime an English word is used.
Unfortunately she will keep this up until she gets a response out of me.
"Mike...Mike...Engles!"
There are not too many things that I can actually say. Sure I can laugh, but I'm not good at pretending to laugh.
I've said, "yes, that's right", "uh huh" and "blimey, so it is, I'd forgotten that one!"
But soon, if she keeps it up, I will have 2 special words for her, the second one being 'off'.

Video of the Day

Welke Taal Spreek Je?...Gloves

It was an auspicious day. The Dutch language had almost been invented and the five men who had been given the duty were sat around a large oaken table, weary, but proud to have completed such an important task. They had one more thing to name and the Chairman, a portly gentleman, tapped the thing they had named a 'glas' with the thing they had named a 'lepel', to bring the room to order.
"Gentlemen," he said, in Dutch, "we have one final thing to name."
"Oh, do we have to?" asked one of the men, who's name was Wim.
" Yes, yes, I'm afraid we do. Come along now it shouldn't take too long," said the Chairman.
He held up the object.
"Anyone have any suggestions?" he asked.
There was a moments silence.
"Why don't we call it a glove, like the British?" said Wim.
"Yes, good idea," said another.
"Here, here," ventured a third.
"Come now, Gentlemen. I'm sure we can be more original than that!" said the Chairman.
The four Linguists formed a huddle, the Chairman could hear the sound of heated discussion from the group. This continued long into the night until finally, the Chairman put lepel to glas again, cleared his throat and asked:
"Well gentlemen? Do you have a word for me?"
There was an embarrassed silence, one of the men found an intresting stain on his jacket which demanded his full attention, whilst another thought it a good time to sharpen the nib of his quill.
"Go on, you tell him," said one of the men and nudged Wim in the side with his elbow.
" And...?" the Chairman asked.
" Hand Shoes, Mr Chairman," he said.
"Hand...Shoes?" asked the Chairman.
" Yes, Mr Chairman, Hand Shoes." Wim picked up a glove from the table.
"They are shoes" he slipped the glove on, "for the hand."
" Hand...Shoes," the Chairman said again, as if his mouth was trying the words out.
Wim wiggled his gloved hand.
"That's bloody brilliant! Right, the beers are on me!"
Ok, so I made that up.
Some time back, during my first language course, when things got really confusing, I said to a fellow student:
"How difficult can it be, they haven't even got a good name for gloves?"
Which made us laugh, and still makes me laugh.
Handschoenen has been a good trigger word for me, when things get tough and confusing, I often think of hand shoes.
A bit too much for my liking just lately...

Video of the Day

I have recieved a good reaction to the Association Football video. I shall leave it on the blog for a while longer. There is such a wealth of great stuff on youtube that I have decided to make a video posting every few days to, hopefully, bring a smile to your face. Today I am posting a video of Laurel and Hardy, in my opinion, the funniest people ever to have walked the Earth.

Video of the Day

To compliment my Homesick post I have added this Video of 'my England'.