Welke Taal Spreek je?...Bluffing

I could pass as a local in most western European countries. I think that's half the problem with the surprised reaction I get when trying to speak Dutch. If I looked a bit foreign then I think people wouldn't be as startled by my indecipherable Dutch. It's only when I return to England that I realise how small talk fills up much of one's day. In Belgium I actively avoid it. The slightest attempt at small talk leaves me tongue-tied after a few words and the person I talk to open-mouthed. I once found myself in a three way conversation at a party and managed to bluff my way through 20 minutes of nodding, smiling and laughing in the right places; it was only when I was asked a direct question that I had to admit to not understanding a word the guy had spoken. I don't know who felt more embarrassed, him or me, but to his credit he just said that he thought I was a bit quiet! I regularly pass an old chap riding his bike when I walk past one of the local farms. He always has something to say to me but I have no idea what it is. The thing is that he never stops pedalling so I respond to him with something that sounds like real words but actually isn't because he doesn't really care what I say, just that I have responded in a tone of voice that he expects to hear from me. Of course there is a chance he is doing exactly the same thing as I am...let's not go down that road.

Antwerp from above.

Sledging

I hope you will excuse the self indulgence, dear reader, but this post is a direct follow on from the previous post. There is a famous old quote that has been attributed to a number of people and it goes as follows:
"Football isn't a matter of life or death...it's more important than that!"
The same could be said of Cricket. Every few years that quote becomes reality when England play Australia for a trophy called the Ashes www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/the_ ashes if you are intrested in the details of how it came about. All you really need to know is that when these two countries play each other at any sport it is usually as hard a fought game as could possibly be.
Sledging has probably been around for as long as cricket has; my Collins English Dictionary describes it thus:

Sledging-to bait or insult an opponent especially in Cricket.

Sledging can be very amusing, the Aussies have it down to a fine art. Over recent years both countries have used the media to wind each other up long before they meet each other on the field of play. Even though the first test isn't until july 8th the next few months will see an endless back and forth of verbal sniping between both countries.
I think the news about Cricket being invented in Belgium is a classic piece of Aussie sledging; the very idea of Cricket not being invented in England would have every member of the MCC (Marylebone Cricket Club),which is the oldest Cricket club in the world, crying into their cucumber sandwiches!
It did not take me very long to find the following newspaper article:
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,23123078-23375,00.html
It's really worth reading.

It's just not Cricket!

Yesterday I was shocked to see in the online version of Gazette Van Antwerp that Australian academic Paul Campbell claims that Cricket was not invented in England but was actually invented in Belgium. The tea-cups will be rattling in their saucers in the hallowed halls of Lords Cricket Ground after this bombshell! It's actually an intresting article, and after a bit of researching I found it first appeared in the Sunday telegraph on 1/03/09. The evidence for the claim comes from a poem written in 1533 which contains the line:
"O lorde of Ipocrites/Nowe shut vpp your wickettes/And clape to your clickettes!/A! Farewell, kings of crekettes!,''
Well just look at it, does that make any sense at all?
The Australian was helped by German academic Dr Heiner Gillmeister of Bonn University who believes that the word Cricket comes from the Flemish phrase " met de krik ketsen" which I've had translated as "the jack ricochet".
I personally believe there is a far simpler explanation for this; it was just a bunch of English blokes having a quick knock around after popping over the Channel for some cheap beer!

Welke Taal Spreek je? Deel 3

It's true that many British people have a problem with Europe(that noise you can hear is my fiance shouting at me for the upteemth time that Britain IS a part of Europe!).I think the final straw for most people was when the EU told us the bananas we were importing were the wrong shape, too bendy. You can do a lot of things to a Brit but NEVER criticise the shape of his banana! But after a busy weekend of travelling I have to sing the praises of one European invention that I like a lot. Ladies and Gentlemen I ask you to raise a glass to the humble Kilometre.
As we all know the Imperial Mile is the correct way to measure distance, but a mile is so bloody long. That's why travelling in Europe is such a joy, you always arrive at your destination sooner than expected. Kilometres are wonderfully short!

Don't try to translate the word upteemth because you wont find a translation for it. It basically means 'a lot'. I'm still trying to work out what alstublieft means so don't think too harshly of me. For my English speaking readers the word alstublieft is used as often as possible, at the start of a sentence and at the end as well. This is confusing to me because I consider myself well mannered and like to say please and thank you when appropriate and I never know when to slip it in. This is largely due to shop assistants who will pepper their conversation as much as possible with this word:

Shop Assistant: alstublieft meneer?
Me: agehdlklfkl bieeedbkkl
Shop Assistant: alstublieft?
Me: abdij brood
Shop Assistant: ah...alstublieft (sound of bread machine cutting)
A neatly packed loaf of bread placed in front of me.
Me: dank je wel
Shop Assistant: alstublieft!

I like the word a lot, even though I'm not entirely sure what it means.