Happy

I would like to thank all my readers for their support over the past 10 or so months. I still intend to post the odd bit of writing, albeit not as regularly as I have done. A Happy and Healthy New Year to all of you.

Seasons Greetings

Revenge of the Little Black Dogs...

We had the windows in our house replaced the other day. It turned out to be the coldest day in Belgium since the great freeze of 1562, when '...men froze where they stood in their trousers...' and icebergs floated down the Ijzer. So having your windows taken out and laying your home open to the elements was not ideal. Sure there was a certain novelty in walking around with a hat, coat and gloves on and not having to go outside. Having the front door open all day, or should I say having no front door all day, presented a peculiar problem. Sometime during the morning one of the workmen asked me if I had a dog. I followed his gaze and saw standing in the middle of our living room a French Bulldog, wagging its poor excuse for a tail and looking like he owned the place. He didn't take much coaxing out of the room and out again into the street, but as soon as I walked back into the house, he followed me in. The next time I got him out into the street I looked around for someone who looked like they had lost a dog. Rather annoyingly the only person I saw looked like they had lost a cat. After some minutes of me walking into the house and the dog following me in I reverted to shouting at it and waving my arms in a menacing manner, which wasn't very menacing to be honest. Waving your arms around only makes you look like a demented bird trying to fly. Eventually the door was put on and the dog had to stand on his back legs whilst his front legs were resting against the wall, and look into the house through the window-less holes at the front of the house. However, he took every opportunity during the day to nip into the house every time the front door was open. I don't know who's dog he is, I've not seen him on my travels. Towards lunch time he left the front of our house and trotted off down the road, the conspiracy theorist in me wondered if he was going to report to ninja-yappy. He came back in the afternoon, had a dump on the drive (not easy to clear up on a loose stone floor) and disappeared down the road, never to be seen again. I hope...

News from the Wild West of Flanders...One

He is black, furry and as big as a small dog. Actually, he is a small dog. Half Ninja, half yappy. He lives in a cafe and hides in shrubbery, waiting for an un-suspecting victim to pass. I have been aware of him ever since I first walked past him because he stepped out of the shrubbery and onto the pavement. I suspect he had got bored waiting for someone to pass and decided to stretch his legs because as soon as he saw me he darted back to his hiding place and tried to blend in with his surroundings. I gave him a knowing look as I walked past, and he looked at me with a sheepish expression on his face, which isn't easy for a dog.

Since that day I have passed his hiding place with an air of alpha-male superiority, always giving him the eyeball as I passed and watching as he tried to back even further into the shadows.

In recent weeks I have walked a different path. Eager to explore my surroundings for connecting paths and roads. Today I walked past the cafe, my mind on the podcast I was listening to, yappy-ninja completely forgotten about. I bet he couldn't believe his luck as he watched me walk towards him. I hate being surprised, whether it's by someone saying 'surprise!' and handing you a present or a dog suddenly jumping out at you and going 'YAP! YAP! YAP!' Luckily, I wasn't holding anything breakable. Had I been carrying a box of eggs or maybe a tray of crystal glasses (as you do when you go for a walk) then they would have made a nice accompaniment to my shout of 'WAAAH!' and my arms suddenly shooting up into the air. To be honest, the dog couldn't have bitten my hands even if it had been standing on a box, it's that small! Heart in mouth, I resisted the urge to kick the things arse as it saunterd...saunterd!...back into the shrubbery.